Hope and Goals

I realize this blog is starting to become (or has already become) a miscellaneous mess of road trips, parties, crafts, recipes, and poetry.  On one hand I feel like a sense of focus would be nice. On the other hand, it's a pretty accurate reflection of my lifestyle.  I seem to dabble in a little bit of everything.  I love learning, and probably would have stayed in college forever if I could afford it.  

That being said, one of the things I like about my "day job" is that I am in an academic environment, and work alongside a lot of really great, really brilliant people.  Today I went to an interesting lecture in which one of the primary topics was hope.  You don't hear scientific research talks on that topic every day. So in addition to the categories above, you now get to hear me vaguely discuss scientific research.  I don't know that I can accurately sum up the whole lecture, but here are some of the takeaways that I'm currently churning in my brain:

- Hope is experienced when there is expectation that a desired goal can be achieved. (informal definition) 

- There can be two components: pathway & agency. The pathway would be: are there ways to reach this goal/what are those ways?  The agency would be: is it possible for me to do that?

- Personal outlook can be broken down into positive affect and negative affect.  Positive affect can be good, obviously (good attitude), but the statistics also showed that those with positive affect become risk adverse (ex. why rock the boat when things are going well?).  Negative affect can actually be kind of good.  Often times negative feelings drive change and critical thinking (ex. I'm currently unhappy with X, so I will take action to change this situation).  Really they are both needed to accomplish goals, so both can be "good" in a way.  

- Understanding/discovering potential pathways and feeling like you have a sense of agency to succeed contributes to the feeling of hope.  Both negative and positive affect are usually required to discover those pathways and to feel empowered that one can reach a goal.  

- When asking the question, "what is your goal" sometimes your first answer, the primary goal, is literally not possible. Which can really knock hope.  However, when pushing further and asking "what is another goal" and "what is another goal," those are possible.  And when those become the new goal(s) (in the lecture termed: re-goaling) one can have a renewed sense of hope because that goal can be achieved.  

Interesting stuff. (I will note that most of the study related to palliative care, for those of you who might be questioning the "not everything is possible" point...)

I think a lot about my own personal goals, what they mean to me, and whether they are moving me in the right direction.  As my priorities shift, often so do my goals. As anyone who has ever had a goal knows, when you have a goal that you can't reach, it can lead to frustration and loss of hope.  Admittedly some of my major goals in life are a bit expansive (and yet incredibly specific- no surprise to anyone who knows me...). But then I marvel when things fall perfectly into place, and I take a huge step closer to my goal.  It renews my sense of hope that with a bit of critical thinking and innovation, a little adversity for motivation, resilience, hard work, and empowerment, I can accomplish the things I want in life.  

I think I can, I think I can...

In follow up to my 2010 goals, I thought I would give you a little update.

1. I have done nothing with the chandelier so far. I have thought about it a lot, especially when I trip over it in my art room. That's all. Oh, and I keep finding chandelier crystals all over my house. They're multiplying like bunnies. We'll keep this on the To Do list.

2. I haven't been able to work on the coffee table yet, but I'm waiting for a sunny day so I can do the sanding outside, since we don't have a garage. It's only sunny when I am at work. Funny how that goes...

3. I have my first quilting lesson scheduled for this Sunday! I fully intend to document the experience in case you want to learn to quilt too. I'm really excited to get started and want to make a quilt and pillow shams for my bed. (Quilt update here.)

4. Pilates was awesome. Wednesday was the last class of the 8-week series and I signed up for another series starting in April. It's definitely challenging, the instructor works us just past my limit, and I feel like my core muscles are stronger. Yay.

5. New recipes will be posted in the weeks ahead. I have tried a few experimental recipes to varying levels of success. You will see the good ones popping up soon.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a crafty weekend!

What's up, 2010?

Does anyone else feel like we are now living in the future? It's so futuristic that we haven't even figured out how to say it: twenty-ten, two-thousand ten, or two-thousand and ten. Personally, I have picked option B.

I have decided that two-thousand ten (see how I just made you to say it my way...) will be full of new experiences, new projects, new recipes. Here is what's ahead for me and Lovedog Ranch:

1. Chandelier project: I was given an old chandelier by my friend Erin a few months ago. It's lovely as it is, but I have had an idea for a while that I have been wanting to try out. You'll see how it goes.

2. Renew coffee table: Another friend give-away. I love refinishing old furniture, especially when it's free. There is something very cathartic about sanding. For Valentines Day one year, Justin bought me an electric sander. Isn't that romantic?! But really, that was probably one of my favorite Valentines gifts ever, second only to Valentine, my giant stuffed pig from my mom.

3. Learning to quilt: I am a grade C- seamstress. The only real training I have had was Home Ec in the 9th grade. I do what I can, but my skills will benefit greatly from a little discipline. I also loooove quilts, and the idea of reusing something old to make something new, useful, and (hopefully) beautiful.

4. Pilates: This is not so much a project as it is a lifestyle change. I get my assorted exercise via bicycling, climbing, swimming, and (not nearly enough) paddling, but a couple of these are limited by the seasons, I want to take it up a notch, and I definitely need more cardio. I took yoga a few years ago but it felt too slow for my style. I happen to be competitive to a fault, so I'm hoping pilates kicks my butt. I'll keep you posted--my first class is tonight!

5. More recipes, more cooking! I have been very unhealthy as the seasons rotated from delicious, abundant summer veggies to the blahs of the fall and winter. I have also realized that when I eat at work there's no food in my food, since our cafeteria is limited to fried foods, hamburgers, pizza, etc. You'll see me busting out some new recipes that hopefully make good leftovers for lunch.

Okay that's enough for now. See you soon!

P.S. I don't think I'm raising any eyebrows when I tell you that 2009 was a terrible year. I'm pretty sure it is a universal fact. That being said, I have hope that 2010 has some awesomeness in store for all of us. Wishing you all a happy new year. Let's make it happen.

Down with 2009, but up up ups for 2010.

Aim for the stars...

Often I have the overwhelming desire to be better. "Better at what?" you might ask. Everything. An excellent chef, a kinder person, a tidier house, a more generous philanthropist, a brilliant writer, a fiddle player, a care-free attitude, a kick-ass rock climber, and damn smart. And instead of doing these things I end up making lists of what I need to do this week, because I can check those things off, and they take less time than becoming an expert at, really, anything. Lately I've begun to realize I'm on a time crunch since I am about a third of my way through life if I happen to have a long life, and about three thirds through if I die tomorrow. So this begs the question, what am I doing with my time, and what are the things that I will choose to excel at in the time that I have here in this world?

Material possessions are ephemeral and yet I am constantly spending (read wasting) time and money cleaning, organizing, and/or moving them. I have this sense that if I could move to the middle of nowhere, build an organic farm, and live off the land I would also become a delightful, relaxed sage who is excellent at cooking gourmet meals for the poor in my spotless yurt while playing the fiddle, discovering the cure for cancer, and conquering El Capitan. And what is to stop me from doing this very thing? Money, or the fear of poverty. I'm not sure which. Probably both. I have to be able to afford to be poor. Silly, I know, but who would pay the property taxes on the aforementioned organic farm? And who would pay the farmers, because you know I don't like weeding all that much and I'll be busy on my Pulitzer prize-winning book tour.

I'm suddenly reminded of that scene in Office Space:
Peter is asked what he would do if he had a million dollars. His response is: I would relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing. To which Lawrence replies: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do s**t.

Sometimes I wish I had the guts to risk being broke. Turns out I need to be better at liking poverty too. I'll add that one to the list. The thing is, one of the reasons I am so married to my job is my health insurance (don't worry, I'm not educated enough on the issues to use this blog as a political platform). It just feels like something I absolutely need unless I am independently wealthy. I also live pretty comfortably right now. I don't have to worry about having enough to eat (and I don't have to eat Top Ramen), and I can afford to travel. I like that. On the other hand I also know I have more than I really need.

My need for insurance is the same as my need for assurances in life. I'm not a fly by the seat of your pants kind of girl. My g-calendar is booked through the end of September and I'm already planning out a vacation next June. I'm married to structure and order. It's a strength and a weakness. Well planned things usually go off well. My organic farm would run like clockwork. I just need someone to fund the purchase, or tell me its okay to move to Texas or Michigan where I could actually afford property. Also if we could move the Pacific Ocean, my friends, and my family there as well, that'd be greeeeat. So anyone want to go halvsies on a commune in Oregon? I'm serious.

Okay, back to work for me. I gots bills to pay...

P.S. I think its funny that spell check suggested pelvises for "halvsies".

Tent trailer: Phase 1

Hello, hello, we're back at the ranch! We had a great adventure in the tent trailer, drove many miles, saw lots of friends, visited with the family, and took lots of pictures along the way. Speaking of pictures, as promised (oh so long ago), the photos of the tent trailer... I'm calling this Phase 1, instead of "After" since we've come up with a few more fix-its along the way.

In the before picture you can see a wooden storage box which we ripped out, and then extended the step to make more space. There were some holes on the wood surface so we had to fill them in, then primed and painted over the top. I plan to paint texture onto the dark brown surfaces so its not as glossy, and masks some of the surface blemishes. I took down all the fringe/skirt along the top of the tent trailer and made a new one. I also made new curtain ties and cushion covers.

Another view of the dining area:

The kitchen area was one of the more dramatic changes. As soon as we got the tent trailer I immediately removed all the doors, since it seemed impractical to have swinging doors in such a tight space. We added a new counter surface that could bear weight and that was easier to clean. I painted the rest of the surfaces and made curtains for the cupboard areas.

We swapped out the plastic drawer pulls with nickel and added a dish towel rack. We cleaned up the rust on the stove and repainted it with high temp paint (not pictured).

View of the other "bedroom". We added a new mattress pad from Ikea to make the bed a little softer and to cover some damage on the existing mattress.

Most of the materials for this project we either had already, or found for super cheap at Ikea. We still plan to add wood flooring (left over from another project--thanks Erin!) in place of the linoleum, but that might not be for a while with this heat wave we've been having. We also may replace the counter surface around the sink with some leftover material my dad offered up. Hooray for free stuff! I'll post a final picture when we finish the rest.

Project total to date: $65.oo

mattress pad: $5
fabric for fringe & seats: $5
velcro: $4
counter: $1
towel rail: $2

drawer pulls: $0
rug: $10
pillow: $15
sandpaper $0
white spray primer (2 cans) $7
white paint $0
white caulk $4
high temp paint $5
masking tape $3
drop cloth $0
roller brush $4
paint brush $0
espresso spray paint $0

LoveDog Mobile

This just in: LoveDog Ranch hits the road in the new LoveDog Mobile! And by new, I mean 1989. But don't you worry. The plan is to gussy up this gem and hit the American highways and campgrounds.

I came up with the idea to buy a tent trailer after pondering the conundrum of living 16 hours from the California homestead; owning a dog, but hating the quality of dog friendly hotels; and wanting a comfortable place to stay without putting anybody out. I also had fond memories of my grandparents, who would roll up with their tent trailer and set up camp in our driveway for a visit. We're excited to use it this summer and even into the fall, because with a tent trailer, a little rain is nothing to fear. And with weather in the PNW being what it is, rain is always likely.

The grand makeover is currently in process so I will save the interior shots for the "before and after" reveal, but I'm hoping to have most of it done by Saturday. (I'm all about bold deadlines).

In unrelated news, the porch garden is looking great. We ate the first zucchini this weekend, and are still waiting for the tomatoes to turn red (we'll even take red-ish) but there are tons of them. Worst case scenario I am making fried green tomatoes. We had one of the jalapenos but it had little to no heat. Does anyone know what affects the heat of a jalapeno?

1) Zucchini. 2) Tomatoes in the corners, marigolds in the middle, cucumbers in front.

Porch garden update

The porch garden is growing like crazy, and it has been fun to see the progress every day. We now have 1 almost ready-to-use jalapeno, the early girls are big and green, the carrots are officially out of control (we didn't thin them), and the basil is delicious. Last Sunday we had some funky weather and it dropped down to 51 degrees, and then started hailing like crazy. I was a little worried about damage to the garden, but it didn't seem to show any ill response, although the storm brought out a million snails and slugs. Immediately I ran out there with my Sluggo and tried to protect my crops, but then I went for the easier route and had Justin go out there and pick them all off and throw them to faraway lands... We only ended up with a few holes in some of the leaves of the zucchini, so crisis averted for now.

(Pictured above starting front L-R: 2 cucumber plants, 2 basil. Back row: early girl tomato, orange and yellow marigolds, another tomato - can't remember what kind)



Leeks, onions, carrots.


(L) summer squash, cucumber, summer squash, watermelon. (R) eggplants.


(L) Cilantro. (R) Mesclun.


(L) Silver Thyme, in bloom. (R) Rosemary.

(See the first pictures here)

Mission Accomplished.

As promised, here are some photos of our lovely new fence:


see the before picture




see the before picture

Now we move to the digging and the planting. Hooray!

Whew

The fence is 99.9% finished! The gate is on and functional, the fence line is complete (keeping Jasper IN the yard) and we just have to trim down a couple more posts and add caps. I didn't take any pictures due to the downpour, but will post some on Monday. Thanks Justin, Justin's dad, and Charles for your hard work. Also thank you Internet for providing important instructions/pointers/clarification on how to actually build a fence and functional gate.

However, loyal readers, I need your help. No, you don't have to help me shovel dirt (though if you really want to...). The plan is to create beds along the length of the fence, which is about 75', and plant some climbing veggies (peas, beans, etc) and lots of flowers. And so I would like to know, what is your favorite flower? I'd love to plant some favorite flowers or plants of my readers (varieties that will grow in the PNW), that way you can truly be a part of the farm, aka LoveDog Ranch. So let's see what we come up with...comment and let me know your pick!

Almost done!

It was a busy weekend on the farm. With the posts finally set and the string strung, we were able to start building. Which meant that we had to get the lumber and wire to start the aforementioned building. So while Justin and his dad made a trek to the lumber yard and the farm supply (for the wire), our loyal buddy Charles rode his bike out from the city (about 17 miles...), and we wielded shovels, rakes, and hoes and worked on digging out and leveling the beds. I will note that I forgot to put on sun screen that day, and now have a true farmers tan. How authentic...

I won't go into the long and complex details of building the fence, mostly because there were soooo many steps that I honestly don't remember all of them, so sorry this won't be the tutorial you were dreaming of. I will say that a string level is a handy tool. There was an endless amount of measuring, straightening, and discussion on whether or not our ideas made any sense. It was a good thing we had three people working on the project. There is honestly a lot to consider when building a fence on even a slight slope and being total amateurs made it particularly amusing.

Here are some photos of the process. Justin and I have since cut the posts to add the caps, and I used a power drill for the very first time! Hopefully we'll finish up this week and I can take some final pictures. Once this project is complete I hope to get back to the kitchen and post some new recipes.

Progress

The fence is still under construction--as in we plan to set the concrete posts tonight. The whole process is moving a lot slower than I thought it would. The hotter weather does have some to do with that, as it's much easier to sit in the sunshine and drink lemonade than to dig up posts and haul away woodpiles. However, I am hopeful that we'll make great strides by the end of this weekend (or I'm going to need to make more lemonade).

Our garden is looking healthy and we have our first Early Girl tomatoes forming. Justin and I have determined that porch gardens are the way to go...we haven't had to fight any weeds, slugs, or cats yet and the watering is much easier. I made some bruschetta with some store bought tomatoes and our home grown basil--fresh and delicious. I can't wait to eat our own veggies this summer...here's hopin!

Fence project

On April 8th I posted my one of my summer "goal" projects, which we have finally begun! Actually, a while ago Justin did rip out all the bushes to get started, but its sort of been on pause ever since. I drew up the plans the other day, took the measurements, and got all approved by the foreman (aka Uncle Bruce). And then I realized that I didn't actually know the steps required to build a fence. My brother reminded me, "don't forget the string" (a critical element to making it straight and level), and my uncle pointed out that rather than buying 8' posts we should buy 12' because we'll only need 6' lengths for each but they don't sell 6's. Hmmm...we hadn't thought of that.

To begin we had to knock down the current fence, dig out the cemented posts, dig up the roses, dig up some other flowers, and haul away the debris. I will point out that this is actually hard work and took a heck of a lot longer than I thougth it would. Also, in the process we managed to break a pipe. Oops.

This weekend I will rototill the ground to even out the dirt and we'll probably need to add some soil as well. That will also help for when we make the plant beds along the new fence. Then we need to string, measure out the distance, dig holes for the posts, drop the posts, pour concrete and let that set for a couple days to firm. Then the real building begins. I'll keep you post-ed! (hahaha)

Porch Garden #2

Hello friends, I have missed you. Though the vertigo is still not gone, it has finally improved enough for me to be a bit more functional. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it was a busy weekend at Love Dog Ranch. We started construction on the porch garden. And by we, I mean mostly Justin. Here's the play by play:

I'm proud to say that we didn't spend a dime on these! Truth be told, we did buy a box of nails for $14 but all the lumber was recycled from a pile of scrap wood on our property, we lined the bottom of the box with the mesh from an old trampoline, and some small rocks. We need to get some soil to fill the boxes, which might actually cost some $, and then we're ready to plant. I also transplanted my silver thyme onto the porch, in the bucket above. We can't wait to eat home grown tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, and cucumbers. I was excited to see that my chives from last year have come up again! For those of you who don't garden, just plant chives--so easy and they smell delicious (and taste delicious in soup).

I hope to have some updates soon!

Project time

Okay, I might be going insane because I could swear I already wrote this post, but then again I used to get sent to my room to clean it and then fall asleep and dream that I was cleaning my room and then I would wake up and think, Oh no! I have to do it again, in real life! So, maybe I didn't really write this. Or maybe it's all a dream....whoa too deep for this blog.

My new project is to rip out the picket fence along the front of our house, and put in a new wire and wood fence. Coming home from work the other day I saw a really cool fence and said "I'm doing that."

So here we are. The current fence is old and falling down and the gate is barely hanging on, so this will be a much needed improvement. We're also pulling out some obnoxious bushes that take up room in our yard for no asthetic reason that I can tell. I'm still in the planning phase--I need to measure the length and figure out the number of 4x4s, amount of wire etc. But the plan is to get it built soon so that I can grow flowers, and even climbing veggies up it this summer. Oh the summer time dreams... Here is the current (ie "Before") picture:

Do you see that bright spot at the top of the picture? That's called the SUN! I know. I hardly believe it myself. But don't you worry, the forecast is calling for rain again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day...

Hopefully the "After" picture will be coming soon, along with some photos of the project.

Porch garden

One of our goals this summer is to grow a vegetable garden on our porch. Last year we tried using the raised beds already in our yard, but a combination of knowing nothing about vegetable gardens, being overly ambitious with the crop selection, and a crazy amount of weeds amounted to few successful vegetables. We also had quite a few moles, slugs, and a cat that liked to use the beds for a litter box. It's still snowing in the Cascades and my horticulture guru says he doesn't plant until May, but I can't help but dream of the organic fruits of my labor. Also, some of our crops can be started in the greenhouses soon. Here is a link to what you can start planting and prepping in your garden.

Here are a few other pages I have found that I will be reading up on:
How to grow veggies in pots
Best crops for pots
Summer veggies in pots

We plan to build rectangular planter boxes for the porch out of some scrap lumber so project photos will follow when the day comes. Until then I will be researching crops, hunting for good planter box designs, and praying for sunshine.